I was born at an early age and was forced down a mine. I am not clear to this day whether it was an advanced case of career advice or prematurely interring a body. In any event, I was told it was a small mine and it had to be me due to my size. What could I do but to adopt my fellow miners heroic battle to put bread on their families plates. At first I was accepted and seemed to fit in and I was particularly useful at getting into small crevices, such as removing stale pasty crusts from miner's molars. I knew right from the off how to pick a straight seam and this is when I decided to make a difference.I fell out of favour though when I tried to spruce things up. My ideas for colourful overalls and hard hats were met with disdain and mockery. But when i tried to alter the ponies, well that was the last straw and so up to the surface I was ejected into the bright light of day. This was the first day of the rest of my life. Knowing only how to colour pit props with my pastel chalks or create designer pit ponies, I had to come up quick with a career and so I decided to set up a consultancy to make life altering changes to all regardless of individual free will.
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